On GDPR and privacy:
If she’s being very honest, it has to be said that Mrs. Shopkeeper has little respect for EC panjandrums, jobsworth regulation makers and pusillanimous inspectors of this and that. But what we do collectively have the utmost respect for is you, our customers. Previously we’ve kind of hoped that you all know that we love you, and that we’re part-time hippies without a bad intention between us. Now it would seem that the law requires that we put it all into writing. Pffft. Even the techno-cat kittens (above) can’t make any sense of all this bureaucratic twaddle…
Anyway, we have no hesitation in assuring you that a) we’re on your side, and b) we’re really not into storing stuff about you, sharing stuff about you or using your deets for any other purpose than despatching your mail orders with care and passion.
To be specific, we swear down that we will not use the minimal amount of data that we collect from you for any purpose other than for the fulfilment of orders or requests that you have submitted, and that this data collection is entirely within the parameters laid out by the Data Protection Act (1998).
Data is received by us directly when you submit an order through our mail order system, and is also collected indirectly (and anonymously) by the various bots that govern our own little cyber world (we use Woo Commerce and WordPress to help us string it all together). This latter is only displayed to us in the form of statistics and we can barely understand it ourselves let alone pass it on to nefarious third parties. We will never pass your details on to anyone else, promise.
Any data you enter on to our website is protected by a secure connection using SSL encryption. We do not receive any personal financial details nor do we store any such records.
If you are worried about any of this e-mail us at firstname.lastname@example.org
On Shipping and Returns:
We are very proud of our little mail order empire. Even Mr. Shopkeeper grudgingly admits that it is ‘quite a good thing’, although he does hate it when Mrs.S. dashes about clutching stamps and bubble wrap and looking flustered.
To make matters real simple we charge a flat rate of £6.00 for shipping. 75% of our parcels cost us more than this to post, but hey – we like to look after you guys. We use a very lovely expediting company called Weengs for most of our consignments: not only do they collect and wrap your goods, but they 3D print a box just the right size to accommodate them. They then contract out the delivery to the most appropriate postal service. Very small items are normally sent first class with the Royal Mail. In a usually vain attempt to make you spend more money we offer the incentive of a free 1/2g of pure Persian saffron when you spend £30 or more on-line (excl postage charges), and 1g of saffron if you spend more than £50.
If your goods are in stock your order will usually be shipped within 3 working days and should arrive within 3-5 working days of despatch. If one or all of the items you require are out of stock we will usually contact you to advise you of expected delivery date, and let you know what your options are: you can either wait for said stuff to come in, allow us to sub a similar product or get a full refund on the item.
Once orders have been despatched we will do our best to track them to your door, although we cannot accept responsibility for delivery times therein. The good thing about our current expediters is that they fully insure everything which they pack on our behalf, so YOU WILL GET YOUR PARCEL EVENTUALLY. Late delivery of your goods in no way negates your contract with Persepolis, but we really do go above and beyond the call of mail order duty to make sure that you do get it on time.
Unless you sign for a parcel as being ‘damaged’ or ‘opened’ it will be assumed that all goods have arrived in pristine condition. We will attempt to pass on requests to leave parcels in odd places (‘the green bin round the back behind the compost heap’ was our favourite) but cannot accept responsibility for them once they have left the couriers’ hands. We are also unable to accept responsibility for failed deliveries: our couriers normally attempt delivery three times before returning a parcel to us. If your parcel is returned to us undelivered we are more then happy to ship it again if you meet the extra postage costs, or we can refund the cost of the goods minus any postage charges we have already paid.
In the (unlikely, sad) event that you wish to return an item, please be advised of the following:
- We have a 7 day returns window, as set out in the UK Distance Selling Regs, but will process returns after this period if you can prove that an item was damaged on arrival or sent by mistake
- All goods being returned (unless previously agreed as damaged) must arrive back here in pristine condition and in the original wrapping. And you need to advise us of your intention to return an item prior to so doing. You may wish to use recorded delivery as until a parcel is safely back at Persepolis Towers we’re unable to assume responsibility for it.
- Unless goods are faulty or have been sent in error the recipient must meet the cost of the return postage themselves
- If goods are faulty or we have sent the wrong thing (oops), we will of course refund or replace said items and pay for the postage therein
- Returns must be received within 14 days of receipt of the original package: refunds will be processed within 28 days after that
Since you ask, dem kitties are called Lexi and Leo, and they belong to Junior. They are super naughty. And they really hate unnecessary legislation….